


The Last Thing I See

by Human_Timelord



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Ghost Of You Video, Angst, Based on a My Chemical Romance Song, Character Death, Depression, Doctor Who References, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-05 10:43:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12188463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Human_Timelord/pseuds/Human_Timelord
Summary: When Mikey goes off to war Gerard is left behind worrying about his brother. Then one day Gerard gets a phone call that changes everything.Based off The Ghost Of You video.Trigger warnings: Major character death, substance abuse, suicide, mentions of depression and abuse





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So the ghost of you fic I talked about ages ago is finally here. All of the chapters have already been written so updates should be fairly frequent. I'm still working on rewriting I will remember so that's gonna be a while before it's upload again. I've changed it up a lot but I know the general outline of it now. I hope you enjoy

Mikey's POV

BEEP  
BEEP  
BEEP

My alarm clock jolted me awake and I fumbled around trying to find the off button. Grogiglly, I sat up and yawned, wondering why I was awake. All of a sudden the realisation hit me like a bus. Today. Today's the day. The day I was being shipped off to war. I didn't have a choice of where I would be posted but I did sign up. There was rumours that the army had shortages and needed new recruitments, so I signed up. Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori as they say. If I was going to die, I might as well make something of my life.

Gerard was totally against my decision though. He tried to dissuade me many times but I needed to do what was right. However, that didn't stop him from being petrified that I was going to die. I tried to reassure him that I was going to be fine but nothing helped. I really was worried about Gerard. I didn't know how he would cope without me. I had always been there for him and he had always been there for me. We were as close as two brothers could be. I had helped him through his depression a few years ago and I was scared it would come back while I was away. I was scared about him not being able to drag himself out of a hole.

Maybe I was worrying too much, Gerard had Frank now and I knew Frank would do anything to help Gerard, especially if I wasn't there. Truth be told though I was scared of never coming home and I knew that if I died Gerard would be torn in two. However, chances were that I would return alive, I might get injured but most likely I would be alive at least. 

Shoving these thoughts from my mind, I got dressed in my uniform and went to make coffee for me and Gerard. He stayed over last night since it was my last day here for who knows how long. The memories of last night were fresh in my mind. Me, Pete, Ray, Gerard, Frank, Brendon and Ryan all went out to this dance thing. It was actually organized by the army as like one last hurrah before we went away. By the end of the night more than a few people were dancing like drunk giraffes. Only me, Pete, Ray, and Brendon were actually going to fight. The others came to say farewell I suppose. Ray and Pete were more experienced and had been in others wars but this was mine and Brendons first trip out.

Ryan was an ex solider himself but he was forced to retire a few years ago, when he got injured in a bomb explosion. He now had a large scar on the left side of his face which left him blind in that eye. Ryan had proposed to Brendon last night and of course he said yes. Brendon wanted to to get married to Ryan as soon as he came home, but Ryan was very apprehensive about his safe return; which was understandable as he narrowly avoided death himself. Despite Ryan's injuries Brendon was confident and almost seemed oblivious to the fact that he might not return. I sometimes wondered if it was all just a facade. 

Frank and Gerard were in a band together called The Killjoys and they had just released their first album which they named Danger Days. Gerard also drew comics and used to work a big corporation but he left to start the band. I was so proud of Gerard and how far he had come. Not five years ago he was a depressed 19 year old with no hopes or aspirations. Now he was 24; in a stable relationship with someone who cared about him more than anything, and was in a band with a growing fan base.

I helped him through that time as much as I could but I was only 16, so it really was Elena that helped him the most. Our gran was a massive reason why Gerard was still alive, she was always encouraging him or cheering him up. I was there for him when he fell down. Whether that was cleaning up his wounds or making sure he didn't choke on his puke. I knew he was grateful and thankful for us, so it made sense that he didn't want any of us to be in danger. As worried as I was for Gerard I knew he would be fine and I knew that I would keep fighting, for Gerard. I also knew that Frank would help Gerard. He might not have me around but he would still have Elena and Frank.

The smell of freshly made coffee dragged me from my thoughts, and I heard Gerard making his way into the kitchen. Smiling to myself I got out two mugs and poured us each a cup.

"Morning Gee," I said brightly, handing him a cup.

"Thanks," he returned a small smile and began to drink the clear liquid. "Are you definitely sure you want to go?" 

I sighed. We had this conversation at least once a week since I told him I had signed up. Each time my answer was the same.

"Yes, I'm sure. I want to help our country, even if that means fighting. Anyway it would be too late to back out now even if I wanted to, which I don't," I replied. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried that you're going to get injured, or captured by the enemy or even get kil-"

"Gerard, that's not going to happen. I'll make sure of it. If I do get taken prisoner, which is unlikely, I'll escape. For you. I'd kill every last guard to get back home. If I get injured, the thought of you will keep me going. But I promise you that I will not die. I'll keep fighting so I can come home and see you again," I interrupted.

"Oh, Mikey," he said softly, beginning to tear up. "Do you really care that much?"

"Of course I do. You're my big brother and you always will be. I'd do anything for you or to see you again. I'm not leaving you Gee, I promise. I'll always be here for you no matter what," I answered on the verge of tears myself. 

Gerard didn't answer but instead pulled me into a hug. There's a connection between us that only brothers have. We both knew that we would do anything for each other. After a minute we released each other.

"Thank you Mikes," he said quietly. "You know I'd do the same for you, don't you?"

"Yep of course," I replied. He would take a bullet for me, which might start to seem ironic as I was going to war.

"I'm gonna miss you though and I'm still going to worry."

"I know and I'm going to miss you too. This will be the longest I'll have ever been away from you."

"Yeah, I suppose so but you promise to write as soon as you can."

"I promise, every chance I get. Now come on, we need to get to the airport. I said I'd meet Pete there," I said, only just realising the time.

Ray, Pete, Brendon and I were being sent off to France for a year. It wasn't that long compared to others but we were still fairly new. Our only methods of communication to our families was by letter as there wouldn't be any WiFi or signal. It was a war zone, not a holiday, after all.


	2. Chapter Two

Mikey's POV

Once we reached the airport, I grabbed my stuff from the boot and started to walk inside the airport, with Gerard by my side. After I checked my bag in, we headed towards departures where Pete would be. I stopped suddenly when I saw a sign that said Gerard couldn't go any further. He noticed me stop and turned in my direction, also having seen the sign. 

"Hey, Mikes it will be fine," Gerard comforted seeing how upset I was growing. I was starting to wonder if I had made the right choice.

"I'm just gonna miss you. A year is a long time, what if something happens and I can't get home," I sniffed.

"Everything will be okay here. You shouldn't worry about us, if anything it should be the other way round," he soothed l, placing an arm round my shoulder. "Anyway, a year's not that long you'll be home before your know it."

*Gerard's POV* 

"I'm just really worried about you. What if you slip into old habits cause I'm not there not there to stop you. Then it will be my fault," Mikey rambled.

"Hey, hey stop. I'll be okay, Frank will make sure of that. I'm not 19 anymore, I'll be able to stop myself before it goes to far. Don't waste your energy worrying about me, cause you'll need it," I reassured him.

To be honest, I didn't know if I would be okay without Mikey. He's always helped me out and made sure I'm alright. He's like my parachute; slowing my fall so I don't plummet back into depression. Sure, I had Frank now but he wasn't there last time. He doesn't even know all of what happened and how close I was to dying. I'd really like to keep it that way too. I had to be strong for Mikey now, like he was in the past for me. I needed to be strong to show him he would be okay and that I would be fine too. I just had to hold it together until he left. Once he was gone then I could break down. 

"Thanks Gee," he smiled sadly.

"You'll be fine Mikes, in fact you will be the best damn solider this world has ever seen." I said wiping a few tears from his face. "Go on, Pete will be waiting."

"Goodbye Gee, so long and goodnight."

"Bye," I said hugging him for the last time. "I'll see you next year, love you."

"Love you too Gerard and don't forget I'm coming home so this isn't goodbye, not really," he remarked confidently, his attitude completely different.

"Yep you'll do great. Don't forget to write," I called as he walked away.

"I won't," he shouted back.

I watched him walk away, his long strides taking him further away from me each second. As soon as he turned a corner and could no longer see me I broke down. Tears cascading down my pale cheeks leaving streaks of black eyeliner behind. Quickly, I walked to the toilets so I wouldn't draw attention to myself. Luckily for me it was empty. Holding nothing back I sobbed loudly, new tears forming before the old ones had left. As if Mikey was sensing my distress my phone buzzed. 

Mikey: I'm coming home Gee, I promise

I smiled through my tears, letting myself build up the tiniest amount of hope. I would see my little brother again and he would return home. Taking a few minutes to compose myself and reapplying my eyeliner, I headed out the airport towards my car. Mikey was right, he would be fine. He certainly knew how to handle himself in a fight. Mikey would be alright and he would be home in no time.

If only I knew. I shouldn't have been so optimistic. In a way I was right; he did come home. In a coffin. If only I knew that was the last time I heard from him. The last time anyone heard from Mikey Way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love a good bit of foreshadowing. Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible triggers in this chapter

Mikey's POV

      As I walked away I could feel Gerard's eyes on me. I knew he would be worried and he would still worry even though I told him not too. I guess it's only natural to worry if your little brother goes off to war. There's the constant nagging voice saying 'what if they are never coming home'. I promised him though and once I make a promise I try my hardest to keep it. Of course I will do everything in my power to carry on and keep fighting. I know this year will be hard but I have every intention of returning home.

When I turned the corner I spotted Pete immediately, a smile growing on my face. Pete was one of my best friends and I'd known him since we started school. He had always been there for me and helped me stay strong when everything with Gerard had happened a few years ago. I had also helped him with some stuff too in the past.

"You alright, Wentz?" I greeted him happily, my worries about Gerard were forgotten. For now. 

"Not so bad. How about yourself Mikeyway?" He answered cheerfully.

"Slightly worried but apart from that fine."

"What you nervous about?" Concern laced his features, his cheery demeanour gone like breath on a mirror. 

"Well for starters having my brain blown against the ceiling," I joked "But seriously, Gerard. I've never been away from him this long and I don't know how well he'll cope."

"I'm sure he'll be okay. He seems to be doing a lot better recently."

"Yeah he has, which is good but I'm just scared that he'll relapse and I'm not there to help him."

"If he's been doing so well then why would he relapse?" Pete asked.

"He's scared that I'm going to get badly injured or killed. I've told him that I'll be okay but I don't think it's helped. He was struggling to keep it together before because he doesn't want me to worry about him," I answered, my thoughts drifted once again to Gerard's well being over the next year.

"Oh, I see. Why don't you text him now before we get on the plane." Pete suggested.

"Good idea, thanks."

Pete just nodded in response and I got my phone out and typed a quick message "I'm coming home Gee, I promise". Making sure it had sent I switched my phone off and put it back in my pocket. Following Pete, we headed towards the departure gates to meet up with the rest of our friends. Once we spotted them Pete started a conversation with Ray, which left me talking with Brendon.

"Hi Brendon, how's Ryan doing?" I asked curiously.

"Hey Mikey. He was a bit upset that I was leaving but I tried to cheer him up but I don't think it helped. He's so worried that something similar is going to happen to me like it did with him. How's Gerard taking it that you're leaving?"

"About the same really but it just shows they care. I can understand why though, I mean he was completely against it from the start."

"Yeah it was the same with Ryan. He was always trying to get me to change my mind. Anyway, we've got a plane to catch," Brendon said almost happily.

We all walked together, the two separate conversations moulding into one. Brendon was his normal self; making jokes and generally lifting everyone's moods. Once we were on the plane I just let my thoughts wander. I wondered how likely it was that I would make it out alive and uninjured. I doubted it would be very high as explosions, grenades and gunshots all happening at the same time didn't sound very appealing.

*time skip: 6th June*

Today would be the first battle I would be in. A proper battle not like the practice ones in training. We had been told that not everyone would survive. I just hoped me and my friends would. Ryan would be devastated if anything serious happened to Brendon. I knew that if anything happened to me Gerard would blame himself and I didn't want that. I decided I would fight for Gerard. We were only a few weeks in our year of fighting but I was more determined than ever to survive.

The waves surged around the boats, almost as if they were laughing at us. I was in the same boat as Brendon and Ray but Pete was somewhere else. Our boat rocked back and forth in a sickening manner, making my stomach churn. In front of me someone threw up but the sound of was barely audible over the sloshing waves and shouted commands. Another person sat beside me, I think his name was Austin, kissed a metal cross he had hanging round his neck. I think in the next few hours his faith would be tested. Clutching my rifle I sat frozen to the spot, the anticipation was deadly. 

One voice from the back shouted loud and clear, getting everyone's attention: "5 minutes!" All of a sudden everything seemed to happen at once. The boat ploughed forward heading towards the shore. There was another shout and the shrill sound of a whistle could only mean one thing. The door dropped into the cold water and sent a mini tidal wave coursing through the boat.

All around me men leaped up and began charging into the water. It was the hail of gunfire that alerted me to my senses. The sharp sounds of endless bullets being fired, and the metallic ping as they ricocheted off our helmets. Suddenly regretting my decision, I jumped up and rushed forwards with Ray at my side. More commands were shouted but I wasn't listening, it was like I had gone into a trance. The only thing that kept me going was Gerard. Wishing I was back home, I jumped into the cold ocean, leaving behind the relative safety of the boat.

My fingers and toes were instantly numb and I was chilled to the bone, but I carried on. I plunged into Poseidon's grasp; my life no longer my own. Under the surface it was so quiet, almost as if someone had turned the sound off. I wanted to stay here but I struggled to breathe in the murky water. My lungs demanded oxygen as I thrashed around desperately. Noise erupted in my ears, contrasting the quietness of before. Gasping greedily for air I looked ahead and the sight that met my eyes was like something from a film. Barricades, floating bodies and men being dragged ashore. The image burned through my mind, permanently imprinting itself in my memory.

I somehow made it to shore but many did not. My eyes scanned the beach, adrenaline surging through my body; the only thing that kept the fear at bay. The sound of an explosion filled the air. A thick cloud of smoke polluted the skies as I looked around. The thump of dead bodies being flung into the beach was barely audible.

More gun shots rang through the air as I ran down the beach to a barricade. A sight met my eyes which was worse than I could have possibly imagined. A wall of fire was advancing. I spotted Brendon's face. He was completely oblivious to the threat from behind him. Flames licked at his body before I could warn him. His screams pierced the air. Others around him were suffering the same fate. More screams. Fire. Screaming. The faint smell of burning flesh wafted over. 

I ran closer desperate to save Brendon. He was thrashing around, rolling in the pinkish seawater, trying anything to extinguish the flames. So many bullets. Bullets went flying past me, all in different directions, and not stopping until they hit flesh. Still there were more bullets. Bullets. Bullets. Screams. There were so many screams. It seemed the world was only made of bullets and haunting screams. Gerard was right. All I wanted was to be at home with Gerard. I was so focused on getting to Brendon I didn't hear them behind me and I didn't hear Pete screaming.

"MIKEY!" he shouted but it was too late.

I dropped to the ground. Pain exploding in my chest. I writhered painfully on the blood soaked sand. I saw Ray come running over. No. I can't die. I promised Gerard. I was vaguely aware of Ray trying to stop the bleeding but I was slipping in and out of consciousness. It grew quieter, all the sounds muffled. The explosive pain surged through my body and I realized I was never coming home. Rat's efforts to save me became futile but he never gave up. I opened my eyes for the last time, the world around me hazy and growing dark. Staring straight at Ray I made sure he heard what I was about to say.

"Tell Gerard," I slowly whispered "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry Gee."

I closed my eyes. The blurryness becoming too much to handle. I just let the darkness consume me. This was it. The end. Goodbye Gerard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp Mikey's dead (sorry not sorry). I think we all knew it was going to happen though. Hope you enjoyed regardless but be prepared for more feels. Thanks for reading


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you're all having a good day. Be prepared to have it ruined, no I'm kidding. Or am I? Anyway here's chapter four enjoy or cry its your choice.

Gerard's POV

     I was drawing a portrait of Mikey, for when he got home, the day I got the call. It was less than a month into his year long trip but I was already missing him like crazy. There was nothing more I wanted than to be watching crappy movies and making jokes with him. Frank was out with some friends so I was alone, but I decided to put the time to use. Carefully, I put my pencil down next to the picture, not wanting to smudge it and sipped some coffee. I was terrified that something had happened to him because he hadn't written yet.

Frank thought I was being stupid but I would only relax when he wrote - that way I knew he was okay. Suddenly my phone rang; Hero of War by Rise Against shattered the quiet atmosphere. I didn't recognise the caller ID but I answered regardless.

"Hello, is this Gerard Way?" A deep voice spoke.

"Yes who is this?"

"This is Lieutenant Stump. I was Mikey's commanding officer. Am I correct in assuming you are his brother?"

"Y-yeah I'm his brother, what's happened? Is he okay?" I panicked, anxiety calling in my head.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you Mr Way. Very bad news indeed," he paused.

"What is it?" I quizzed, my heart rate increasing by the second and palms going sweaty with fear.

"I'm sorry to have to inform you of this but Mikey is dead. He was gunned down on the Normandy coast," lieutenant Stump spoke, void of any emotion. 

My brain stopped listening after he said Mikey was dead. I just stood there, rooted to the spot, tears quickly forming in my eyes. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. They had simply made a mistake.

"Mr Way, are you still there?" His voice dragged me back into reality.

"No, you've made a mistake. He's not dead, he can't be," I said barley keeping it together. 

"I'm sorry, there's not been a mistake. I saw his body myself. The medics did their best to save him but the bullet wound was fatal."

"No, this isn't real!" I nearly shouted. I refused to believe that Mikey was dead.

"I'm afraid not. One of the medics was a friend of Mikey's and he wanted me to tell you his last words. They were 'tell Gerard, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry Gee'. His body will be returned to America in a few weeks and you will be required to identify him. Once again I'm sorry for you're loss, goodbye."

I didn't bother hanging up, I just let the phone fall to the ground. Tears streamed down my face but I made no attempt to stop them. Instead I slid down the wall and cried into my knees. He can't be dead. He promised me. Mikey promised he would come back. Suddenly anger boiled through my veins. I stood up and started screaming and smashing everything in sight. 

"HE PROMISED!" I roared. 

The door burst open and Frank rushed in, shock and concern flooded his face.

"Gee, what's happened?" He asked, noticing the trashed room.

"HE LIED TO ME!" I shouted and Frank flinched.

"Who lied?" Frank asked fearfully.

"Mikey," I whispered and collapsed into Frank's arms, my tears leaking through the back of his shirt.

"What did he lie to you about?"

"He said he'd be fine, but he's not. He's dead," the last word was barely audible but Frank understood. 

"Oh, Gerard," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

After that no more was said for hours. We just held each other, silently grieving, tears falling from both our faces now. We didn't need words, our presence was enough for each other. There were no words to express the pain and emptiness I felt. 

*Frank's POV*

There was nothing I could do. I couldn't make this any better. Mikey was everything for Gerard. His brother. His best friend. His shoulder to cry on. He knew Gerard better than anyone else and had helped him through so much but now he was gone. It hurt. Not just seeing Gerard like this and knowing there was nothing I could do. No, that would be bad enough. I had also lost of friend. No one was as close to Mikey as Gerard but I was still close with him. He was a great friend and a brilliant bass player even if he would never admit it and I won't forget the good times we shared. 

I had to be strong. Hold it together for Gerard. With his biggest support system gone I needed to help him. I needed to be there for him. I knew he wasn't okay and he wouldn't be for a long time, but I had to keep him alive. Mikey wouldn't want Gerard to die because of this. While he wasn't okay, I knew he could survive. All he needed was a reason to believe and someone to to support and help him. I wanted to be that someone.

We sat there for hours and I tried my best to comfort him. By now I had stopped crying but Gerard hadn't. I hated seeing him like this but the best I could do was just being here with him. They say time heals all wounds but this wound would need an eternity, and it still wouldn't be fully healed. Mikey was a massive part of Gerard's life and probably still would be in the future. Neither of us could be bothered to move and we were exhausted by the days events, so we just fell asleep there. We fell asleep in each others arms and we hoped it would keep the nightmares, that were surely coming, at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Not gonna lie I nearly cried while writing this but if you think this was bad just wait for the other chapters. I might upload earlier than next week if I don't get a lot of homework and stuff but we'll see.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present to you chapter five. Enjoy :)

Gerard's POV

The next few days were a blur filled with alcohol and sadness. No matter how much Frank protested I couldn't stop drinking. Drinking made me forget and I wanted, no needed, to forget. I could pretend that Mikey was still alive when I was drunk and it made me feel better. But off course reality slaps you in the face eventually, and today that came in the form of five little words. 

"Mikey wouldn't have wanted this."

Even the mere mention of his name was enough to bring me to tears. The memories of the past few weeks surging through my head as vivid as ever. 

"I'm sorry Gerard, but it's true and you know it," Frank continued.

"Shut up!" I snapped. "You have no idea what he would or wouldn't want."

"I think you're forgetting that he wasn't just your brother. He was my friend too." Frank sniffed.

All of a sudden all the pain, sadness and grief that I had been attempting to hide exploded. I completely broke down, tears rapidly flew down my face and howling sobs racked my body. But worst of all the ache in my heart returned. The ache that would never be cured because the only person that could was dead. My brain decided to remind me of the last text he sent me. The last sentence I ever heard from him: 'i'm coming home Gee, I promise'. 

"He lied to me Frank," I whispered, not even sure if he would hear me.

"He didn't mean to, what happened was out of his control. No one could have predicted it," Frank replied trying to comfort me.

"I can't do this, it hurts too much," I sobbed.

"Yes you can, I kn-" he began.

"No Frank I can't. Not without Mikey."

At this I hung my head and continued to sob. The pain knowing Mikey was gone forever was unbearable. Since I'd found out there hadn't been a day I hadn't cried. Mikey had helped me with so much and I had become somewhat dependant on him. My life was getting better but now Mikey was gone it had all come crashing down. 

"Gerard look at me," Frank commanded. I ignored him hoping he would leave me to wallow in my sadness. However, Frank wasn't one to give up easily. He held my face in his hands and forced me to look at him.

"I know this is hard for you and it might get harder before it gets easier. But it will get easier. You're strong and I know you can get through it. All you need to do is find the strength within you. Do it for me, do it for Mikey but most importantly do it for yourself." 

I didn't know what to say so I just hugged him tight. I didn't know what I had done to deserve someone like Frank. I sniffed a few times, my tears slowly stopping. 

"Thank you." I said eventually, my voice hoarse from crying. 

"I believe in you. I believe in Gerard Way and I know you'll make it through tomorrow."

Tomorrow. I had forgotten it was tomorrow. Mikey's funeral. I couldn't go. It would make it too real. I still clung onto a shred of hope that he was still alive, but tomorrow would shatter that illusion. In the end it was Frank that identified Mikey's body when he returned from France. I was too drunk to even stand up without throwing up. I didn't want to go to the funeral high or drunk but I couldn't go sober. That only left one choice; not going.

I gulped and slowly shook my head. "Can't." I managed, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh Gee, why not?" He asked in despair.

"Hurts too much."

"You have to go, he was your brother," Frank stated. 

"Is. Mikey is my brother and he always will be," I said, my temper rising. I fumbled around for another drink, however, Frank stopped me.

"You need to be sober for tomorrow. No more alcohol."

"Fuck you!" I shouted, trying to fight him. But I was too drunk and uncoordinated to put up much resistance. Instead he led over to the sofa, ignoring my outburst, and laid me down.

"Come on, you must be tired. Try and get some sleep."

"Only if you protect me from the nightmares," I replied feebly, my anger being replaced with tiredness.

"Of course." He agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was kind of a filler chapter but I swear the next one will have some plot. Until then I bid you farewell. Enjoy your day.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end now, hope you enjoy.

Gerard's POV

         I woke up with a pounding headache and the strong aroma of coffee wafting through the room. At first I was confused as to why I was on the sofa, but one look at the empty bottles on the table brought it all back. The alcohol. The shouting. Frank. The funeral. Oh God it was today. I wiped away a tear before it fell, I can't cry yet. Memories of Mikey rushed through my mind. The times we spent playing as kids, going to concerts and comic book stores. The time he nearly blew up the kitchen by sticking a fork in the toaster. Then I did something i hadn't since I got the news; I smiled. Just a small smirk and then it was gone, but maybe it was a sign that things were going to be okay. Maybe not instantly but maybe in a few months or years. 

While I was sat there Frank walked in fully dressed with two coffee cups in hand. He set them on down onto the table and sat next to me and held me. We stayed like that for a while, just frank hugging me. A silent promise that it was going to be ok. A promise that he would be there for me and help me get through this. Eventually, Frank let go and handed me my coffee. 

"Drink up. It'll get cold soon," he said.

"Thank you," I simply stated but it meant so much more. I wasn't just thanking him for the coffee but for the hug and for everything he's done for me. He knows I'm not okay, I might not be for a while, but he doesn't care. He'll stay and help no matter what because he's Frank and I'm Gerard. 

"Its ok," he replied, understanding exactly what I meant.

We drank our coffee in silence after that but it was ok. We didn't need words to convey how we felt and today I was grateful for it. However, the coffee didn't last together and time kept ticking on. The moment i was dreading edged closer and it was time I got dressed. I stared at Frank looking for reassurance and he nodded and hugged me once more. When I walked into the room Frank had already laid out a black suit. Without him I would be a drunk mess yet here I was, sober and getting ready to go to to my brother's funeral. A day that I had hoped would never happen. 

Getting dressed made it real and for the first time it properly sunk in. Mikey was dead and I was about to go to his funeral. I sat on the bed frozen, not even crying just staring at everything and nothing at all. My head was full of noise yet deathly silent. Some time later Frank walked in.

"Gee, are you al-" he stopped catching sight of me.

"It's really happening. He's really dead," I said void of emotion.

"I'm sorry," Frank sighed, conning onto what had happened.

"How can I go? I can't go."

"I know this going to be hard. The hardest thing you have ever done but I will help. It will get better. Going to the funeral will make things easier and help you come to terms with it. Trust me," he spoke.

"How do you know? You don't understand, you will never understand! I exclaimed angrily. "You've never felt like this!"

"Yes Gerard I have." He said quietly.

"No, you would have told me," I said, confused. 

"There are things I haven't told you and there are things which I will never tell you. This is one of them. When I was 12 my dad died. I was just like you; full of despair and hopelessness. I locked myself in my room for weeks, and refused to speak to anyone. Then the day of the funeral arrived and I didn't want to go because it would mean it was real and I would have to accept it. But you know what, I did go and it did help. Then shortly after I met you and look where i am now. Things do get better. It might take time but they always get better," he explained.

"I'm sorry Frank I didn't know, you never talked about your father," I replied unsure of what to say.

"I know. Now I've told you and now we're going to go to Mikey's funeral," Frank stated like it was just that easy.

I didn't move but Frank wasn't having any of it so he pulled me up and guided me to the car. There was no turning back now. 

*time skip to after the funeral*

Everyone had left apart from me. Frank was hesitant at first but he understood that I needed to be alone. Alone with my brother or at least his grave. The cold grey stone didn't do him justice and the short inscription could never show how much he would be missed. 

'In loving memory of Michael James Way  
A great friend, son and brother  
10/9/98 - 6/6/17'

He was the best brother that I could have hoped for. He was always there and always willing to help. Mikey helped me through so much, much more than he should have had to, but he did regardless. Now I have to face the world alone without my little brother and best friend. He was loved by so many and so much but by no one more than me. I sighed and looked around at the otherwise empty graveyard. The sky was slowing darkening and the trees swayed slightly in the gentle breeze. I sat down in front of Mikey's grave and stared at it for a while, the tears streaming down my face in an unstoppable waterfall. I hadn't let myself cry all day, even at the funeral but I let everything out now. 

Time passed by but I don't know how much, I was too focused on Mikey, the pain I felt and the whole he'd left. The hole that would never be filled. Frank was wrong. Going to the funeral didn't help. If anything it made the pain worse and the hole bigger. I just missed him so much. Knowing that I could never see him or talk to him was too much. It was a thought that my mind couldn't accept. I wanted my brother back. More time passed and I slowly calmed down. The tears slowly subsided but you know what never went away? The pain. The pain will always be there for as long as I live. Soon enough I was able to speak and so I did.  

"Hi, Mikey. I miss you but you probably already know that. I love you Mikes, I know I didn't tell you enough and I know I wasn't always a very good big brother. But you were the best little brother in the world. You were everything I hoped for and more. So much more. I tried to look out for you, I really did but at times I was too weighed down by my own problems. You understand though and you forgave me which I am so grateful for. Thank you, for everything. Without you I probably wouldn't be here but now you're gone and so must I. Love you Mikey, see you soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter left now. Thanks for reading and I hope you've liked the story so far


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, here we are at the final chapter. I hope you've enjoyed this story. There's could be some possible triggers in this chapter so please be careful.

Frank's POV

        For the last few weeks Gerard has been really depressed and I know his brother has died but I thought by now he would be a bit better. He's hardly been home but when he was he's not spoken a word just locked himself in his art studio. I'm getting reallocated concerned about him now, I've tried to talk to him about therapy or counselling but he doesn't want it. Whenever I mention it he just storms off to the bar or the cemetery. I don't let him keep alcohol in the house so he goes out and gets drunk instead. The he'll come home, stinking of alcohol and absolutely wasted. Sometimes he's in a good mood but other times he's angry and sad. While Gerard has never hit me, not once, sometimes he pushes me around and at shout at me. Blaming me for Mikey's death. I know he's drunk and doesn't mean it but it still hurts.

The man I know and love is slowly disappearing and I can't bear it. I don't know what to do. I've never seen him like this before, only Mikey has but he can't help him this time. I'm completely lost as to how to help him, he won't even accept he's got a problem. As I walk into the house it's quiet; I guess Gerard is out, again. I turn on the coffee machine and collapse into a chair, letting out a huge sigh. It's been a long day and I wanted nothing more than to snuggle into Gee's arms and watch movies like before. At times I want to hate Gerard but I just can't. It's not his fault Mikey died, I don't know how to make him see that though. I want him to be ok, I want Mikey to be alive but most of all I want Gerard back. 

I walk into the living room with my coffee, ready to fill the night with mindless tv until Gerard comes home. On the table I see an envelope with my name on in Gerard's handwriting and my heart stops. Please not let this be what I think it is. Shakily, I put my coffee down and pick up the envelope. I sit down, hoping I'm wrong, and begin to read the letter.

          'Dear Frankie,

First of all, I want to say that I love you. I always have and I always will, even though I've not been showing it lately. For that I'm sorry. I've just been so upset over Mikey and alcohol is the only way I know how to deal with the pain. You see when Mikey died he left a gaping hole and it could never be filled, not even by you. It hurts, Frankie, every day without Mikey has been agony. I can't deal with it anymore. It hurts too much.

In the studio there's a portrait for you. It's of me, you and Mikey. It's from a few years ago when we were all happy. I wanted to finish it before I left so you would have one final thing to remember me by. To remember us and the good times we shared. I'm sorry, I truly am but this has to be done. You mean the world to me but Mikey was my world. He was my brother and I hope you understand that. 

This is not your fault so please don't ever think that. I just can't stand living without Mikey. Don't think you can save me because by the time you read these words I will be dead. My only regret is that I didn't get to kiss you one final time and tell you how beautiful you are. Because your are Frankie, the most beautiful man I've ever seen. I was so lucky I got to spend part of my life with you.

I have one final thing to say before I end this letter. Stay strong. Do it for me. I know you can get through this because you're Frank and you can get through anything. Never let them take the light behind your eyes.

I love you Frank. Goodbye.

                                          Gerard'

"No," I whispered refusing to believe it. "No he's not dead, he can't be."

Tears were clouding my vision as I rushed out the door and into my car, desperate to find him. There's one place he'd be and dear god I better be right. I raced to Mikey's grave while calling an ambulance. I refused to believe it. He's not dead. My Gerard isn't dead. It's not too late, it's never too late. During the ten minute journey I did something I haven't in years. I prayed. I prayed, to every single God that I could find him alive, while speeding through streets.

After what seemed like hours the cemetery came into view and I jumped out my car, not even bothering to turn off the engine. I just ran. I ran faster than ever before. Tears still streaming down my face, desperate to find him alive. Finally I found Mikey's grave and a dark figure was huddled on the ground.

"Gee! Oh my god Gee. Tell me you're alive!" I shook him him and scooped him into my arms. "Gerard please."

He slowly lifted his head and stared into my eyes. 

"Frankie, I love you. You're so beautiful," His eyes shut and his body went limp.

"No, no Gerard please wake up," I sobbed. "Please I love you. I can't do this without you."

Moments later the paramedics arrived and wrenched him out of my grasp. I was too distraught to move, just a shaking sobbing mess on the ground. They tried to resuscitate him but it was working.

"Please save him," I begged.

"We're doing all we can sir, please just stay calm," one of the paramedics replied.

Stay calm? How did they expect me to stay calm when Gerard was dying. When the man I love, my husband was dying or possibly already dead right in front of my eyes.

"It's not working!" Someone shouted.

"No! There must be something, please just save him!" I screamed.

"We're doing all we can, please calm down."

"Can't get a pulse. We've lost him. Time of death 10:24pm."

At 10:24pm I became a widow. 

At 10:24pm I collapsed to the ground crying and screaming.

At 10:24pm the paramedics failed to calm me down.

At 10:24pm Gerard died.

At 10:24pm Gerard left me. 

At 10:24pm a part of me died with Gerard. 

At 10:24pm I realised I was now alone in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go. The final chapter. The Last Thing I See is officially over.  Thank you all so much for reading and liking the story, it really means a lot to me. This originally started out as one shot but I ended up writing too much and this is what I ended up with. My first official complete Fanfiction. I really hope you enjoyed reading it and I hope I didn't emotionally scar you too much. 
> 
> While I was typing this up One More Light by Linkin Park started playing and I swear I'm crying. I'm still devastated by his death and I don't think I'll ever get over it. Depression is a silent killer until it strikes but by then it's too late. I want anyone who has depression or is suicidal and is reading this that suicide is never an answer. No matter how hard life may seem there are always other options, please talk to someone. That could be a trusted friend or family member, someone online who is willing to listen or even me. I will always be here to listen to any of you and try and help you out. One final thing, I'm proud of you because you've came this far, you've survived everything that life has thrown at you. You've made it this far so please try and make it further. If anyone is looking for a message or a sign not to kill themselves, then this is it. I can promise you that you will be missed. 
> 
> Once again, thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.


End file.
